STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
