you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
