I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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