Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
