i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
