They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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