Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
