i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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