You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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