Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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