If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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