my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
