I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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