What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
