just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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