Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
