Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
