So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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