I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he was CRYING into my vagina
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
