ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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