what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
