Just fell off a train. Bad.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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