don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
