Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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