I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
