Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Enjoy the penises
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
