Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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