Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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