letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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