Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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