Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
