Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
