If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize