And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
