the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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