Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
accomplished twins. life is a go
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
