apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
