just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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