hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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