Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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