so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
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I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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