I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
where are my eyebrows?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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