Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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