She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
