i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
