We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
