Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
