Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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