Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize