Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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