Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize