He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
