She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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