Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Randomize