The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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