Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
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