How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
