if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
