i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
