I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
